Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
