it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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