He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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