there's paper in my vomit.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
