I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I have fence marks all over my body
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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