Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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