everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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