If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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