I bet he comes in French.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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