between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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