i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
