Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
