I wanna bring you to show and tell
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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