we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
