Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
