is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
