People in love make me want to vomit
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
