Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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