I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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