I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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