Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
