You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
