This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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