"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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