I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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