what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
