It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
