She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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