i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
