Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
