Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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