it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
