Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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