and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
