How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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