yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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