PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
