he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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