Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
