i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
