im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
