I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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