You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Sponge bath it is.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
