yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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