I'm lost and stupid without you.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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