Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
