The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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