By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
