I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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