so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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