who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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