I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
