I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize