there was a trapeze. enough said
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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