Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
