I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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