Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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