Please, let me fuck your mom
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
