I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
