I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
