dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
