So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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