She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
