they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
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