I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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