Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
