just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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