Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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