i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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