Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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