You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
