Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
