hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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