using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
mondays should just be called national damage control day
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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