they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
